...but I don't have time to say anything worthwhile. I'll update this thang later...

Everybody does this in their blog at one point, so I might as well get it over with now. Go on, ask a question, and I will answer anything to the extent of my knowledge.

And just for kicks:

It's been almost two months since my last blog entry, and I've already got almost another 500 posts in the forums, so I figure it's about time to move on from celebrating my 1,000th message. Unfortunately, I'm struggling to find interesting things to discuss, considering the average attention span of Newgrounders is that of a hummingbird (if you've read this far, I'm in awe).

Actually, come to think of it, my girlfriend had something quite tragic happen to her: After her best friend got emancipated (her parents beat her with a fireplace poker and threw her down the stairs), she came to live with my girlfriend. Shortly after her parents' arrest, she had a panic attack due to all of the stress and OD'ed on sleeping pills.

My girlfriend found her in the morning, completely mindless, staring off into space, a thick white foam in her mouth (no innuendo intended). She got taken to a mental institution.

Two days later, for no apparent reason, my girlfriend had a fucking seizure and died. She was rushed to the hospitol and recucitated. I don't know how she's doing now either, (aside from the fact that she is currently anemic,) because I'm temporarily living in another goddamn country. >:(

So aside from my girlfriend having kicked Death in the nuts, I guess I'm doing swell, Newgrounds.

Hmm. This newspost seems a little too serious for my taste. I guess this means I'm gonna have to post a picture of what's on my mind right now...

I finally made the transition from 3 digits to 4 in my post count! Feel free to congratulate me or call me a douche; whichever you prefer, here is some cake to celebrate.

Admit it: nothing is more amusing than watching people crack their skulls on the pavement, and Youtube.com generously provides more than enough clips for our leisure. With so many floating around, and with some being far superior to others, I have rounded up two Top 5 lists for quick access to the best of the best; that is, the Most Painful and the Most Humorous. You may not agree with the arrangement of these countdowns, but hey - that's what makes them great countdowns!

MOST PAINFUL

#5 Stupid bike stunt-Face plant
#4 Face plant the wall
#3 BMX FACE SMASH
#2 Nothing Toxic - Skater Faceplants And Nearly Snaps his Spine
You thought those were bad? You think it couldn't get any worse? You're fuckin' wrong. Behold, the man with the shattered mug, the dude with the missing teeth, and our crown champion of the number one worst faceplant in history:
#1 Extreme Bike Face Plant

MOST HUMOROUS

#5 Worst Face Plant Ever
#4 Dancing Show
#3 Redneck Face Plant
#2 Extreme PARKOUR Face Plant
We've heard funny cracking noises, we've seen chavs, children, and gingers get what was coming to them, but nothing will prepare you for our final contestant, and the winner of our list. Seriously, what could be more hysterical than wiggers, kids, and Raggity Andys crushing their faces? Well... you'll see... o,O;
#1 Slip N' Slide Face Plant

Ahh, that was fun.
...and in case you're wondering, yes, I am a bad person. Have a nice day.

unrelated pic:

First leaked screenshot.
They don't even have a team on it yet, so it won't be released for a good long while.

Until then, let's kick back, relax, and enjoy a cold one.

December is right around the corner, and likewise, so are the holidays. Happy Christmas, Haunnikah, Quannza, New Years, and Pearl Harbor Rememberance Day!

On an unrelated note, I noticed a few hours ago that I don't have a single clock in my room (save for the tiny one on my computer). Figuring this is as good a time as any to order something off the internet, I searched online for one I wouldn't resent staring at all the time. So I checked some e-stores to see if they carried ones shaped like strawberries (for the lulz). Turns out a few places were selling them.

I'm sure it's been done before by someone else on Newgrounds, but what the hell; If I could own any time-telling instroment, why not shape it like the king of the portal?

ignore

Gotta make it a good one!

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umm...

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...so, I herd u liek mudkipz?